April 13, 2004
You're Mired!
A fast-food loving beauty queen from Missouri who has two master's degrees and once wrestled a greased pig in a mud pit was crowned Miss USA 2004. (Ed. Gee, you think the St. Louis Post-Dispatch doesn't much care for beauty contests?) Shandi Finnessey, 25, won the title Monday night over 50 other contestants and will represent the United States at the Miss Universe pageant in Quito, Ecuador, on June 1.
... and brains.
A Republican, she told Reuters she would use her position to help explain America's involvement in Iraq. "What needed to be done had to be done," she said.
Oh yeah, the reason for the title:
The pageant is co-owned by NBC and Donald Trump, who opened the telecast by telling Castillo, "You're fired," his ubiquitous phrase from the network's hit show "The Apprentice."
Well, that and pig-wrestling.
January 09, 2004
Today's Magic Wand Award Goes To...
"If I'm president of the United States, I'm going to take care of the American people," Clark said in a meeting with the Monitor editorial board. "We are not going to have one of these incidents."
Clark, a retired Army general, envisioned a future in which Americans "have more confidence in ourselves as a people." He continued: "Nothing is going to hurt this country - not bioweapons, not a nuclear weapon, not a terrorist strike - there is nothing that can hurt us if we stay united and move together and have a vision for moving to the future the right way."
This earns a rousing four magic wands to inaugurate what will be a recurring theme on this blog, wherein we will recognize, ridicule and reward statements that can only be accomplished with PFM!