The universe is stranger than we can imagine. Catch these highlights from CHER ISSUES BUSH WARNING AT DISCO:
"There were supposed to be thousands of people here tonight. I'm not sure why that didn't happen, obviously the people putting on this thing were just not very good at it," an embarrassed Cher explained to the crowd.
Oh, I've got a pretty good idea why very few people showed up, but you go ahead and blame other people. That technique has such a fine pedigree on the Angry Left.
"All the gay guys, all my friends, all my gay friends, you guys you have got to vote, alright? Because it would only be a matter of time before you guys would be so screwed, I cannot tell you."
Because, you know, the people, like, in the very right wing of this party, of these Republicans, the very very right wing, the Jerry Falwell element, if they get any more power, you guys are going to be living in some state by yourselves."
I can either say nothing or go on for about 10,000 words on this one sentence. In the interest of time, I'll allow Cher's wisdom to speak for itself.
"So, I hate scare tactics, but I really believe that that's true."
Sure you hate to do it, but since hate seems to be your primary motivating factor these days, oh, go ahead.
"I think that as Bush will, if Bush gets elected, he will put in new Superior Court judges, and these guys are not going to want to see gay pride week."
Like, totally superior.
Cher declared that Abraham Lincoln "looks like Kerry on a crappy day."
Well, Abraham Lincoln has been dead for 140 years.