October 22, 2004

While We're on Movies...

N.Z. Bear is soliciting entries for his Heroes for Bush. Here are mine:

Magnum Force --
John Kerry: "I've served twenty years in the Senate without ever having to pass a meaningful peace of legislation."
Harry Callahan: "A man's got to know his limitations."

Election --
Tracy Flick: None of this would have happened if those Swiftboat Vets hadn't meddled the way they did. They should have just accepted things as they are instead of trying to interfere with destiny. You see, you can't interfere with destiny. That's why it's destiny. And if you try to interfere, the same thing's going to happen anyway, and you'll just suffer.

Die Hard (the European vs. John McCain, uh, I mean John McClane)--
Hans Gruber (as John Kerry) : "You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshall Dillon?"
John McClane (as George W. Bush): "Was always kinda' partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really dig those sequined shirts."
Hans Gruber (as John Kerry): "Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mister Cowboy?"
John McClane (as George W. Bush): "Yippee-ki-yay, motherf****r."

Marathon Man --
Christian Szell (Big Media): "Is it safe?"
Babe (as John Kerry): "Yes, it's safe, it's very safe, it's so safe you wouldn't believe it."
Christian Szell (Big Media): "Is it safe?"
Babe (as John Kerry): "No. It's not safe, it's... very dangerous, be careful."

High Noon --
Helen Ramirez: "You're a good-looking boy, you've big, broad shoulders. But he's a man. And it takes more than big, broad shoulders to make a man."

Casablanca --
Rick (as John Kerry): "Don't you sometimes wonder if it's worth all this? I mean what you're fighting for."
Victor Laszlo (as George W. Bush): "You might as well question why we breathe. If we stop breathing, we'll die. If we stop fighting our enemies, the world will die."
Rick (as John Kerry): "Well, what of it? It'll be out of its misery."
Victor Laszlo (as George Bush): "You know how you sound, Mr. Blaine? Like a man who's trying to convince himself of something he doesn't believe in his heart."

But we won't leave Rick hanging there since he had a change of heart --
Rick (as George Bush): But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid.

Posted by Charles Austin at October 22, 2004 06:07 PM