September 10, 2004

And We'll Believe Them, Because...?

CBSNEWS LAUNCHES INTERNAL INVESTIGATION AFTER SUSPICIOUS BUSH DOCS AIRED

CBS Internal Investigator: "Mr. Rather, are these documents authentic?"
Mr. Rather: "Yes. We vetted them through experts."
CBS Internal Investigator: "Experts?"
Mr. Rather: "Yes. Experts."
CBS Internal Investigator: "Which experts?"
Mr. Rather: "Top experts."
CBS Internal Investigator: "Please reveal the names of these experts."
Mr. Rather: "A journalist never reveals his sources."
CBS Internal Investigator: "But these aren't sources, they are experts."
Mr. Rather: "These experts are the source for my claim that these documents were, I mean, are authentic."
CBS Internal Investigator: "Thank you for clearing that up."

...

CBS Internal Investigator: Prepare the press release absolving Mr. Rather and CBS from any wrongdoing. And get a copy of President Bush's honorable discharge papers to Mr. Rather's experts. I've got a hunch...

DOWNDATE: Not a CBS Internal Investigator: "Strike that investigation!"

"This report was not based solely on recovered documents, but rather on a preponderance of evidence, including documents that were provided by unimpeachable sources, interviews with former Texas National Guard officials and individuals who worked closely back in the early 1970s with Colonel Jerry Killian and were well acquainted with his procedures, his character and his thinking," the statement read.

"In addition, the documents are backed up not only by independent handwriting and forensic document experts but by sources familiar with their content," the statement continued. "Contrary to some rumors, no internal investigation is underway at CBS News nor is one planned."

Not a CBS Internal Investigator: "Just issue the press release. And keep digging."

Posted by Charles Austin at September 10, 2004 01:42 PM
Comments

Yup, the next thing you know, CBS will be putting Kitty Kelley (who is about to release a completely phoney sleazy book) on as a person who is "in the know". This nonsense that CBS is touting is down to the level that Kelley does. It's sad, really.

Posted by: mike from oregon at 01:27 AM

That "top experts" line reminds me of the scene at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark where the feds are telling Indy that he can't have access to the ark because they've got "top experts" looking at it.

Posted by: wheels at 11:44 AM