September 10, 2004

The Informal "Edward R. Murrow Would Be So Proud" Poll

Dan Rather will resign from CBS News because:

A. He admits that he has become nothing more than a shell of an objective journalist and a shill for the DNC, and that neither of these are compatible with professional standards for journalism.

B. The folks that run CBS see this as the opportunity to put an inflated, over-priced ego out to pasture. After all, they have never forgiven him for walking off the set in 1987.

C. The folks that work on the lower rungs at CBS News still have some pride and scruples and demand a restoration of objectivity to journalism at CBS or they will walk out en masse.

D. The folks who run ABC and NBC enter into a bidding war for Dan's services since they don't want to be seen as being second to CBS in the desire to have John Kerry elected.

E. The folks who run NPR have become concerned about the extremist right-wing slant of Daniel Schorr and ask Dan to join them to provide balance.

F. The folks who run CNN hire Dan to help make Larry King look like a tough and objective interviewer by comparison.

G. The folks who run Fox News want to hire Dan just to point and laugh at him from time to time.

H. The Bush administration finally yields to a Russian request to extradite Dan Rather to face charges of murder from his time as Gunga Dan in Afghanistan in 1980.

I. "Courage" just doesn't cut it any more.

Please leave your choices in the comment section.

Posted by Charles Austin at September 10, 2004 10:46 AM

J. This goes nowhere, because it's just one little white lie, perfectly acceptable in the struggle to remove the EvilBusHitlerCorp from the office he stole from the saintly Al Gore, who, as every right thinking person knows, won the 2000 election.


Posted by: JP Gibb at 11:00 AM

I like "G", but I also have a "J" (or would it be "K" now?):

Dapper Dan will resign from CBS and accept the ambassador assignment for Afghanistan. He has been working for Bush all this time as a secret operative, part of the Texas Posse, and deliberately passed along forgeries to continue the downward spiral of John Failure Kerry.

Posted by: MarcV at 12:45 PM

Since I'm an O'Reilly fan, I vote for "G" - lets put him in a chair in the corner (facing the corner) and point at him and laugh from time to time.

Posted by: mike from oregon at 01:32 AM