February 02, 2004

Star Gazing With Jack Horkheimer

I missed the big event yesterday. Oh, I saw most of the game, but I missed the halftime show. I cannot prove it, but I wondered after seeing a promo in the airport for the game early yesterday if this was the year that they would finally expose a breast for the sheer shock effect. After all, the pop culture sled that's slouching towards Gommorah must have a couple of those AOL 9.0 boxes tied to it. I do have a couple of questions and thoughts though:

Has that star thing shown up on E-bay yet? If not, when?

I've heard that those things can poke your eye out if you aren't careful, but I always thought it was a bad joke. I wonder if Janet has one on the other side as well. Imagine how embarrassing it would have been if Justin had exposed the wrong breast!

Is it just me, or does anyone else think there's a face in the middle of the star?

Was JJ singing her big hit Nasty Boys? You know, "My name's Janet, Miss Jackson if you're nasty..." And we all thought athletes were the ones who refused to retire gracefully.

Was this a crude attempt to make jury selection for Janet's brothers's child molestation trial that much more difficult?

Which was more stupid from young Justin, doing it, or saying afterwards that he didn't intend to do it? Or does Janet wear one (two?) of those things all the time? Ewwww....

Who was more deceitful, CBS for planning the whole damn thing, or the NFL for being shocked, I say, shocked by it? Here's an idea, get rid of the overproduced halftime show and put on the bands from a couple of small black colleges. That would be a hell of lot more entertaining.

The Super Bowl must be the only sporting event that people will purposefully go to the bathroom while the game is on so as not to miss the commercials. No wonder the networks drool over it so much.

Oh, and I am sorry for dragging Jack into this mess. I don't know why I did that.

Posted by Charles Austin at February 2, 2004 06:20 PM